So you want your marriage to
matter? Great! One of the best ways to ensure your marriage
success is to earnestly seek authentic communication with your spouse every
day. It is said that money, sex, and
in-laws are the leading cause of divorce in America, but I would argue that it
is none of those “issues” that cause divorce, but rather it is inability to communicate over important matters that leads to
divorce.
Every day you and your spouse have
countless opportunities to make a choice between ‘doing the hard thing’ and
communicating or saying quietly to yourself, ‘it’s really not that important,
I’m tired, I’ll just let it go.’ I would
submit to you that this attitude carried out over the course of just a few weeks could lead to
devastating consequences.
The reason you married your spouse
is because you loved being with them, sharing with them and dreaming with
them. When you first started dating, and
even into the early years of your marriage you longed to just spend time with
your spouse. But now life is busy, the
relationship feels relatively stable and what you use to talk about just seems not
all that important in light of sleep, getting the kids to their activities and
simply surviving the day. It reminds me
of an old Jeff Foxworthy joke. He
remarked, “When you are in your twenties and you have the choice between sex
(communication) and sleep ( no communication) you choose sex (communication)
every time. When you are in your forties
and you have that choice you choose sleep (no communication) and hope you dream
about sex (communication)!” Unfortunately,
Jeff is not far off the mark here when it comes to sex and communication.
If you want a marriage that matters I implore you when life is busy, when it does
not seem that important, when others things are pressing in STOP, do not let
them. Make the choice to communicate
with your spouse. Set aside the
time. Recognize that what is in the balance
is much bigger than one conversation. It may seem minor to you, but if you
continually drift in your communication you may become one of those divorce
statistics. Make the choice to
communicate, not let it go!
Have thoughts about the BLOG? Want to connect on social media. Look for me on Facebook, Twitter and
Instagram. You can also always email me at reeves.cannon@sandhurst.net
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